Alternatives to Punishment

Hello, Happy Human! 👋

We're here with our weekly 3 things...

1️⃣ A question from our community

2️⃣ Our actionable tips

3️⃣ A resource from our toolkit

1. The question

“I’ve been hearing that I’m not supposed to punish my kid, but if I don’t, how are they going to learn?”

2. Our answer

Yeah… we asked each other this same question years ago.

Because when the kids are pushing limits and you’re hanging on by a thread, we tend to fall back on familiar patterns (and they seem to work… at least in the short-term).

And let’s be real…

Given how our parents treated us, many of us were raised to believe that fear and punishment are fundamental parts of learning. 

But here’s the truth…

➡️ Fear doesn’t teach. It shuts the brain down. 

So when kids are afraid, they can’t reflect. 

They can’t grow.

They just learn to hide, suppress, or rebel.

So no… punishment isn’t the answer… but there IS something that works better.

👉 Connection-Based Discipline 

Let’s be clear…

Choosing not to punish doesn’t mean being a permissive parent that lets everything slide.

It means we hold firm boundaries… but with warmth and regulation.

Because boundaries that are consistent and clear help kids feel safe.

And safety is what opens up the door to actual learning!

Here’s one quick strategy to try:

✅ The One-Tell Rule

You don’t need to ask a dozen times or count down from 3.

Just ask ONCE… clearly, calmly… and if your kid doesn’t follow through, you step in.

💬 For example… “It’s time to turn off the TV.”

If they don’t do it, don’t yell. Just walk over and turn it off.

No power struggle. No drama. Just a steady follow-through.

Expect whining or even a full-blown meltdown, but over time, your kid is going to learn:

“My grown-up means what they say… and I don’t need to be afraid of them.”

It’s what’ll get them to listen THE FIRST TIME.

👉 If this speaks to you and you’re looking for a deeper dive…

3. From our toolkit

Our latest ‘Rapid Fire Q&A’ Webinar tackled this exact question (and more), and the full 5-page PDF summary is now available for just $5.

We dove into:

❓ “I love my kids, but honestly dread being around them most days. I hate how reactive I get, like they trigger something in me that I can’t control. What can I do to turn things around?”

❓ “What if I don’t feel like a good parent, and no matter what I do, the guilt just never goes away?”

❓ “My mom keeps saying… ‘If you don’t punish your kids, they’ll never learn.’ I don’t want to always be threatening or dishing out consequences, but what else can I do?”

So whether you're navigating bedtime battles, constant back talk, or disagreements on discipline, this guide will help you stay steady, set boundaries, and parent in a way that actually works (and feels good for everyone).

👉 Grab your copy here! 

(Instant access. No fluff. Just real tools you can start using TODAY)

You never need to be perfect. You just need a plan.

And we’ve got you covered!

❤️ Jenilee & Greg

P.S. To the members of The Collective…

DO NOT BUY. You’ll find the summary waiting for you within your Happy Human Library.

Interested in joining us in The Collective to get instant access to our workshops, webinars, digital downloads, and personalized support?

You can learn more about joining us risk-free using this link.

Thanks for being here. ❤️