Fight with your partner?

Hello, Happy Human! 👋

We're here with our weekly 3 things...

1️⃣ A question from our community

2️⃣ Our actionable tips

3️⃣ A resource from our toolkit

1. The question

“I hear a lot of friends blame their kids for their hard times, but for me, it’s my husband. It’s like we can’t talk about anything without it turning into a fight. Any tips?”

2. Our answer

We know exactly how you feel. 

In fact, that was us not too long ago.

Anytime we'd try to talk about ANYTHING, the other would snap back, and we’d end up spiraling into fights over the tiniest of things.

But we realized there was so much more going on underneath the surface-level fights.

Basically, there was just so much unresolved tension that would rise up and perpetuate our conflicts.

However…

Once we started putting into practice tools and strategies to actually:

• hear each other
• understand each other, and
• empathize with each other’s perspective 

We’ve been able to bring up the most sensitive topics while staying on each other’s team, and as a result…

We’ve both gotten the much needed repair that our nervous system systems have been craving.

So start with this…

👉 the next time you see him, ask him how he’s feeling.

And regardless of what he says…

Do your best to regulate your emotions and respond by reflecting back what you heard him say.

It can be as simple as…

“I’m hearing you say…”

You can finish by adding, “Is there more?”

Be prepared for him to share more, and just do your best to continue to reflect and stay curious.

This will signal to his nervous system that you’re trying to understand where he’s coming from and will diffuse tension.

In a perfect world, he would then provide this space for you, but don’t expect it right away.

Over time, if you keep showing up as a warm, understanding listener, he’ll eventually open up to return the favor.

But if you’re looking for a quicker, more equitable change…

3. From our toolkit

Our “Parenting Together Without Fighting Each Other” webinar will teach you the exact same science back tools that the two of us have used to stop the fighting and get back on each other’s team (even during the most chaotic moments).

Ideally, you’d watch the webinar with your partner to go through the activities that we share, but even if you think they’re not ready, the tools we’ll teach you will make a HUGE difference in how you approach conflict.

You can grab the webinar (and its corresponding easy access 5-page downloadable summary) for only $19.

👉 Just use this link to learn more.

As always, thanks for being here.

❤️ Jenilee & Greg
Happy Human Life