Nothing changes if nothing changes

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” 

— Viktor Frankl

Frankl’s quote hits close to home for me.

Because for years, whenever something in my house went off track (like the morning chaos, an afternoon meltdown, or fight with Jenilee), I would immediately try to fix the situation.

Control it. Force it in a certain direction. Maybe try to shut it down altogether.

And when it wouldn’t change… I did.

But not in the way I wanted.

I’d get louder, rougher, more reactive. I’d blame them for being the problem.

But here’s what I eventually learned…

The situation wasn’t the thing that needed to change.

I was. 

Long story short, I was just repeating generational cycles of dysregulation. 

But the more I practiced slowing down… breathing… noticing my own activation in the moment… 

The more things actually shifted.

 And no… not instantly and nowhere near perfectly… but enough that our home started feeling different.

Calmer. Lighter. More connected.

And none of that came from trying to control my kids.

It came from regulating myself.

And I think that’s the invitation Frankl is talking about.

Not some BS idea of perfection. But simply choosing a different response than the one that was passed down to you.

This kind of work isn’t easy. But nothing changes if nothing changes.

Every cycle that ever gets broken starts with just one tiny moment where someone pauses and chooses a different response.

Let this week be that moment for you.

Your mini action step…

At some point today, when something small annoys you or overwhelms you, do this:

1) Pause.

2) Put a hand over your chest.

3) Take three slow breaths (in for 4, out for 6).

4) Remind yourself: “I can show up as the regulated person I want to be.”

It’s these tiny acts that are going to help you show up differently and build your self-regulation skills when things get really messy (not just when conditions are perfect).

And if you’re ready to dive deeper into the kind of work that’s helped me and Jenilee get to where we are today (not perfect, but LEAPS from where we used to be)...

We packed our most transformational tips, tools, strategies, and activities into the three best-selling workshops within our Regulation Bundle (and right now you can save over 50%). 

💬 “Your workshops have been a total game-changer. I’m not yelling as much and I’m actually staying calm during moments when I used to explode. I feel more in control and our entire home feels lighter. I can’t thank you enough!”

So if you’re tired of losing your cool and repeating old toxic patterns, the tools inside these workshops will totally transform your home.

Just like us (and the thousands of families we’ve supported), you CAN become the regulated parent you want to be.

You just have to make the intentional choice to start.

LET’S BREAK THE CYCLE.

Thanks for being here and choosing to grow (even when it would be a whole lot easier to stay the same).

Your future self, your kids, and all of the generations to come are going to feel the impact of what you choose today.

With gratitude,

-Greg