Want less fighting and more connection?

Hello, Happy Human! 👋

We're here with our weekly 3 things...

1️⃣ A question from our community

2️⃣ Our actionable tips

3️⃣ A resource from our toolkit

1. The question

"Whenever my wife vents (about the kids, work, her mom), I do my best to help, but it somehow ends up in some sort of fight. I’m not sure what the hell is going on and don’t know how to help without making things worse.”

2. Our answer

Okay, here’s what we think is likely happening…

When your partner vents, they do NOT want you to jump in to fix the problem.

But that’s usually our default, right?

We go into problem-solving mode or maybe try to offer up a different perspective so they can see the “bright side.”

We think we’re helping when we do this, but let’s be real…

This doesn’t help them at all. In fact, when we do this, it’s all about US.

It’s because their sadness, frustration, or anger makes us uncomfortable. And instead of sitting in that discomfort with them, we just try to take it away as fast as we can.

But when we rush to solve, minimize, or distract them from their feelings, we actually rob them of the space they need to process and move through it all.

So not only does our “help” not help… it backfires. They feel dismissed, unseen, or even more alone.

What they really need in those moments is our presence, an open ear, and a safe space to be heard.

So what does this look like in action?

👉 Reflect back what you heard them say (“I’m hearing you say you’re feeling…”)

👉 Validate the feeling (“That makes sense because…”)

👉 Invite them to continue (“Is there more?)

No defending. No counterpoints. No trying to rush to the end.

And here’s why this works…

Our nervous systems don’t regulate by being “talked out” of our feelings. They regulate when someone sits with us in them. This is the entire foundation of co-regulation.

So the next time your partner starts to vent, remember…

🚫 You don’t need to fix the problem.

🚫 You don’t need to rescue them from their feelings.

✅ You just need to hold space like an emotionally intelligent badass.

And if you’re looking for more support getting on the same page with your partner…

3. From our toolkit

We already hosted our “Parenting Together Without Fighting Each Other” webinar, but you can still grab the full replay (an hour of teaching & real-life examples) PLUS our 5-page downloadable PDF summary (that’ll make our tips, tools, and strategies super easy to put into practice right away).

We’re going to walk you through the exact same tools that we use in our own marriage to:

✅ Stop constant arguments and turn them into calmer, connected conversations

✅ Break the cycle of blame, criticism, defensiveness, and shutdowns

✅ Communicate so BOTH partners feel heard

✅ Make tough talks feel safe instead of explosive

✅ Build teamwork and trust so you can show up as a united front

✅ Co-regulate instead of co-escalate when stress is high

✅ Model healthy conflict and repair for your kids

So if you’re ready to turn things around…

👉 Use this link to grab the webinar and summary.

And as always, please don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any questions.

We’re here if you need us.

❤️ Jenilee & Greg
Happy Human Life

[email protected]